


so hold my head above water

by TheLadyMuse



Series: Abattoir [9]
Category: Glee, Kingsman (Movies), The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: BAMF Armand, But Jean is so PRETTY, Gen, I think thats my schtick, M/M, The Four Horsemen of the Abattoir, Yes I'm finally chucking you all into a shitty murder mystery, deaths are faked
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 10:59:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19789492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLadyMuse/pseuds/TheLadyMuse
Summary: Don't threaten what the Abattoir cares about.Really.DON'T.His Lordship (Tala Valkov, once international Beyblading Champion but we don't talk about that), has no qualms about unleashing his Four Horsemen on the world. Where all of his men and women are dangerous, these ones are killers. Murderers, if necessary.(Or, how Tala's starter pack of spies temporarily defects to protect those they love)





	so hold my head above water

**Author's Note:**

> Starter pack:
> 
> Bulbasaur- Eggsy is as dependable as Ash's Bulbasaur  
> Squirtle- Tequila is funny and loves him a good bit of drunken fun  
> Charmander- Charles. His friends tease him by going 'Charmander. Char!'  
> Pikachu- Sam. Sometimes called Pikachi for his hotheaded youth

Staring down at the whimpering mess that was Sebastian de la Croix’s lackey, the man who had once been Eggsy Unwin felt distinctly unimpressed. He didn’t have to look at them to know his fellow Horsemen were similarly displeased. De la Croix and his cronies had threatened their people, and this one was so easily… persuaded to give up his secrets. They had faked their deaths, and for what?

He was their captain, the one who’d taken the title of Conquest. Which is why he was the one who snarled

“I might not have been willing to abandon my people to become a King, but I was more than willing to become his Lordships’ killer!” Twirling the beautiful revolver in his hand, he cocked the safety and aimed between his eyes, baring his teeth in a feral grin when it banged. Cocking it again, he took aim once more, snorting when War drawled 

“If you think you’re getting out of this alive, you’re wrong.” The Frenchman’s precisely clipped pronounciation and stacato syllables were indicative of someone’s tutelage, and while most would have guessed it to be that of the man who’d taught him much as… as Harry had taught Conquest (never Eggsy, not again, and not ever again Galahad), but he and everyone else knew that War (his name is Charles, Charles d’Artagnan and they used to bug him about that but not now) had picked up the cultured tones from a mutual friend.

Death, the youngest of them murmured beatifically

“It will only get harder from here, dude.”

Famine’s hard gaze was the only one not on the prisoner. It was he who hissed

“We need to move. Her Ladyships’ ETA is three minutes and chatter says Kingsmen in five with a Statesmen backup.” Disdainfully, Conquest swapped guns, emptying the clip into the lackey’s stomach, ordering tersely

“Fall out. Cossack escort to base.”

-

  
Lancelot swept the old black market trading post, the execution-style corpses sadly normal. The new Jack Daniels worked through the CCTV footage, gasping and calling for Roxy.  
Conquest and Famine, at least, were familiar, much as they shouldn’t have been.

Statesmen’s Tequila was the one who kept time. A Frenchman who looked like a Spaniard slaughtered most of the men mercilessly. A young American was the one who hung back, taking out any ‘extras’ while Kingsmen’s Galahad isolated and interrogated the man who’d been supposed to run the joint.

His clipped questions were asked in only lightly accented English, and he was asking about a ‘de la Croix’, and when the prisoner didn’t have answers, he emptied a clip into his stomach angrily.

His last order was sharp… _wrong_. 

What was going on? 

Why had they faked their deaths?

-

Armand Richelieu, Cardinal of France’s Guardsmen, just about spat his tea on his desk when he reviewed an email only to find that d’Artagnan- Athos and Anne’s shared protégé- had been identified in CCTV footage.

While he did send a return mail to thank the Statesmen for forwarding such intelligence, it puzzled him as to why it hadn’t been caught.

He didn’t have long to think on it- Jean returned with breakfast from the patisserie and having forwarded the intel appropriately, he didn’t think to say anything.

He would later wish he had. 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this was inspired by my own 'the one you call when there's no else' series. I think I like it. I think I'll write more.


End file.
